Why I did I make the decision to learn to code?
This question was asked at the beginning of the course, which for my cohort was 03-11-19. The answer to that question was suggested as the topic of our first blog post, and I didn’t want to answer that question at the time. To do so would have meant writing about self-imposed limitations and boundaries that no one should ever set for themselves. Quite frankly, it was personal, and I didn’t want to go there.
I will never forget my 8th grade geometry teacher. He was the Mr. Math guru at our school and his classroom was elaborately decorated with everything math and science, colorful posters, puzzles, and models hanging from the ceiling. That classroom was very cool. On the first day of class Mr. W addressed the students and said, “Welcome to geometry. This class will be difficult, and for some of you the light will come on and for some of you it won’t.” (full stop)
He really said that… just like that…
I remember waiting for Mr. W to finish his statement, to clarify, or talk about the extra effort some of us would have to invest in order to understand, but he didn’t. I’ve never forgotten that day because of its introduction of the subtle but powerful influence of self-doubt - hoping that the light would come on and fearful that it would not. I did not immediately understand the postulates, theorems, and proofs and I struggled with the material. I became discouraged, and somewhat embarrassed about it. Not wanting to draw attention to my deficiencies, I just accepted the mischaracterization that I didn’t have the ability and gave up. I put it all in box marked things I can’t do and moved on.
Seems shocking that a teacher would make such a statement, but it’s a true story.
I have always looked at computer science, technology, and especially code from afar with a certain amount of wistful fascination, often wishing I had the skills and aptitude necessary to work in and be a part of technology. I have been especially enamored with code, because at the center of the exciting innovation and the technology - is the code. It was clear to me that the people who wrote code, had special access to a next level interaction with, the creation of, use, and manipulation of technology, which has always seemed exciting and exclusive to me.
It was the last week of November 2018 when I had dinner with a friend of mine who is a Senior Developer. This guy started teaching himself to code when he was 12, and was working in the industry at 14, before he attended college and got his CS degree. We were talking about a transition out of my current employment and new directions, as I was feeling a bit antiquated. In a jocular tone, I told my friend that I needed him to spend a couple weeks with me and teach me everything he new about programming. I was making a joke, but my friend didn’t laugh. He very seriously told me I should enroll in a boot camp and learn to code. I was dismissive and talked about that box of stuff marked - things I can’t do. My friend looked me square in the eye and said that number one, I didn’t know what code was, and number two, I was smart enough to do it. Although doubtful, I thought that was high praise from my friend the code jedi, and I tried to dismiss the idea from my mind.
I went home that night and as much as I tried, I could not get the idea out my mind, so I started searching bootcamps online and Flatiron caught my eye because of its free prep course. Thinking that I would soon come to that place where the light didn’t come on, I signed up and started working the first lessons and labs expecting my understanding to go dark.
I was up all night, and I haven’t stopped since.
Throughout the course there have been many times where concepts were difficult to understand, and I thought that the phrase “smart enough” was somewhat nebulous and relative. But I wanted this, and with the encouragement of my friend, my cohort lead, multiple tech coaches and classmates, (many thanks) I pushed past the doubt and invested – all in/all go.
Hard work is easy, it is the doubt, enemy to clarity of mind and purpose, that is difficult.
I was talking with a cohort mate a while back, who I consider to be one of the smartest in our class. We were talking about innate abilities and without going into the details of the conversation, in the end she told me that it was obvious that I was the hardest working student in our class. That was very high praise indeed and it struck a chord with me.
I never forgot that first day of geometry class. Because of that memory there have been many times when I have encouraged my two young sons with the following exhortation, without applying it to myself:
“Never let anyone or any circumstance convince you that you are incapable of doing or learning anything. Some things will come easy and some things will be difficult, but there is nothing you cannot learn to do with hard work and passionate desire. Never impose limitations on yourself because you don’t think you have what it takes. Never put your self or your dreams in that box. Your success is there for the taking and completely dependent on two questions. How bad do you want it, and what are you prepared to do to achieve it?”
I graduate tomorrow, and I was right about the code.